thoughts and expressions

A concept of life I often struggle with is idols.

The idea of looking up to someone seems rather far-fetched and reaching.

I rather stupidly believed that idols are pointless and that the future, better version of myself is be my ideal idol.

Though, today I did have an epiphany.

How do I become that future, better person when that person doesn’t even exist? They may exist but there’s an infinite number of possibilities and timelines where they don’t. It’s not promised. It goes back to living in the moment and that this moment in inevitable. There’s no point in thinking about the past because it’s already happened and there’s nothing one can do to change it. There’s no point in worrying about the future because it’s not all within our control. No matter what we do, we cannot guarantee that the outcome will be as we predicted.

The people who do exist at the moment or have existed… well, they are in this world. It’s illogical to think that my goal is to be the future me where I am successful, knowledgeable, wise, rich.

Seems egotistical.

For a long time, I’ve thought that the future, better version of myself is my goal being or who I’d like to embody in the future and learn to share some of their characteristics. I did not have any idols.

This inner turmoil about idols, not just who are my idols but the entire concept of idols, started when my team lead asked me who are my career idols. At the moment, I was thinking my team lead herself because I envied and looked up to how she’s able to balance work and school but also excel in both. She’s constantly actively working on research while publishing and managing a team of 7 and being on top of all the projects. Though she was flattered despite no such intention to do so, she told me to take a bit of time and to think bigger. When the next meeting came along, I only mentioned people within the company. She seemed rather dissatisfied with the answer and told me that we’ll come back to this topic later.

A few months after the latest conversation and just a few weeks ago, I was talking to another engineer who is on the similar level on me and he mentioned his idols. All of them were names I did not know. One of which is the founder of the company my colleague kept as the goal company to work for.

I finally understood. I was thinking too small. I did not have any idols. All this time, I was thinking about my future self. Although I had the right intentions and honesty when giving my answers to my team lead, I truly didn’t understand what she meant.

I now do.

I now have a list of people I’m constantly trying to emulate because they have reached heights and greatness which I hope to reach some day.

Albert-László Barabási, Swamy Kotagiri, Marc Randolph, Jensen Huang, Dr. Parker

Albert-László Barabási: basically pushed the field of network science beyond its rudimentary

The mystery of life begins with the intricate web of interactions, integrating the millions of molecules within each organism. The enigma of the society starts with the convoluted structure of the social network.

Swamy Kotagiri: Though his career didn’t start here, he stuck with his current company beginning 5 years after his Bachelors degree and is now the CEO of Magna International, one of the greatest car product manufacturers supplying to other great vehicle companies.

Even though I like driving, I like driving when the roads are empty and it’s winding and there’s no traffic

Marc Randolph: co-founder and first CEO of Netflix. He founded Netflix, has been a board member or advisor for so many more companies and is now chilling and sharing his knowledge about working on ideas on LinkedIn.

No one knows what’s a good idea or a bad idea until you try it.

Jensen Huang: founder and CEO of Nvidia. I think it’s the way Huang talks about AI and his work principle which gives me confidence.

When you want to build something great, it’s not easy to do, and when you are doing something that’s not easy to do, you’re not always enjoying it

Elon Musk: CEO of Tesla. Though I may not be a fan of his current tactics and his over-promising and late deliverables, he is no doubt a genius in innovation. I’m also, unfortunately, a fan of his work ethic and style.

If somebody else is working 50 hours [per week] and you’re working 100, you’ll get twice as much done in the course of a year as the other company

Dr. Parker: CEO of the first company I worked for. 5 years later and I’m still up to date with the company’s progression and constantly in awe at their rate of growth. Dr. Parker started off as a physician, but he used his connections and wealth over those years to found his first company and then the second. His power isn’t connections or wealth though, it’s delegation. He surrounds himself with people with superpowers who are able to expand the business, though it’s also the ability to determine who is of best fit. ChatGPT suggested this word to describe that trait: discernment.

---

I finally have a real, confident answer to the question I was asked a few months ago 🙂